just an email to my exboyfriend and first love just for my references and so i can read it from time to time.. for closure maybe?



Kyle,
uhm. hi. how's it going? i guess this is sort of a surprise for you to hear from me. it's kind of a surprise that i am doing this. i'm not even sure if i'm going to send this. we'll see if i have the guts. if you feel like listening to me about the rant i am about to have is a big waste of your time, then you can just disregard this email and i won't hold it against you. if you feel as if you can't respond then that's okay too. a response would be cool, but hey in the past couple months i've learned you can't have everything you want. I'm not even sure if you still use this e-mail... so we'll see. if you've read this far could you please read to the end, becuase there is a point of it all. i promise!

Okay, so bear with me here, i'm going to tell you my life story basically (haha) so I moved to Brandon, right and i went to school there and everything and i met this wonderful boy named Riley. we spent New Years together and he asked me if i wouldbe his girlfriend, i had a huge crush onhim so i said yes, of course. and he was so happy, okay he like jumped up in the air and started doing a dance hahaha, it was quite hilarious really. anyways, so we started dating and he was being a sweetheart, like a boyfriend should right? two weeks quickly went by and we were drifting apart, i didnt want to drift apart.. i tried so hard to make him i dont know be abetter boyfriend? but he began just sucking at it all. everyone told me 'you're only his second girlfriend, he's scared.' so i stuck with it.. tried it. then i started hearing rumors about how he wanted to break up with me.. i was too scared to say anything to him so i just left it at that and continued to be treated like shit. my mother lives in winnipeg because my parents split and whatnot and me and my father got into a massive fight and he kicked me out.. Riley didnt call me.. ever. i hadn't talked to him in at least a week when i got kickedout so i left for winipeg without telling him.. if he cant phone to say whats up then i cant phone to say i'm leaivng. y'know? whatever, so i moved and recently (today actually) i was told that he actually did want to break up with me. we dated for a month and for two weeks of that month he didnt even fucking like me. while i was dating Riley, Michelle and Sam started hating me. they spread rumors and became bitches. but whatever, i dont blame them for anything... whats done is done and i'm a better person now because of all of it. so i lost all of my friends, almost got my ass kicked numerous times because of that boy. he led me on so bad. he hurt me.. so bad. which brings me to the point of this e-mail. Kyle, I have to say from the bottom of my heart I am sorry. You gave me everything and i didnt' give you the time of day. i was a bitch. seriously. wow. looking back i want to shoot myself in the fucking face for all the harsh things i did to you. this isn't a 'take me back' e-mail, more of a 'i'm sorry and good luck with yours and chel-c's relationship' e-mail (if you're still together, sorry if you aren't). i'm sorry if this whole thing makes me seem stupid and i'm sorry that this e-mail was fucking huge. if you get through it all then thanks! haha. if you still go on msn or anything i'd love if you would add me ctrl.alt.carrie@hotmail.com we can catch up.. i'd love to hear how things are going with you. Again, Kyle I just wanna say thanks for giving me the best six or seven or however long it was (feels like it was a lot longer, doesnt it?) months of my life. seriously. i mean that. anyways, i could go on forever but i'm not sure that that would do any good here so i'm going to stop now.

-Carrie.